Urban Renewal on Memory Lane
If I can be counted on to recall correctly, it was in the shattered afternoon of my second consecutive day staying home from school while feigning ill & my third consecutive day of ingesting nothing into my body except tap water & hallucinogenic mushrooms that things really became out of control.
As a teenager, I’d half-thought it was because I suffered a poorly-timed mental breakdown mixed w/a flare up of an undiagnosed fainting condition that I’d ended up in a hospital room designed by Fellini, circa 1964. Looking back now, more than a decade removed, it seems likely that I just took too many drugs & not enough food. But who knows? Maybe I hadn’t yet tested a real limit & wanted to cross a line.
I find it fascinating (& horrifying) that we cannot even diagnose our own motivations.